Her love story...

He asked for a story, but a story she cannot tell for she does not know where to begin, and she does not know how it ends.

It started slow, this love story of hers, with his sweet words and his sincerity; with looks of adoration shining in his eyes when he sees her; with the smile upon his face every time they meet.

He stole her heart and she should charge him for theft, but alas, she gave it to him to keep.

Her love story is of a man who came without notice, with the force of a hurricane, but also with the tenderness of a soft breeze. A man who seemed to be tailored according to her prayers. 

A man who said he would protect her, care for her, and love her should she be his. His is not a game and neither is hers.

Being with him, means she can have the life she have always dreamed of; being with him, means she can have the husband she have always wanted; being with him, means she can have the happiness she have always hoped for; being with him, most of all, means she can be true and grow in the religion she chose.

He may not realise it nor know it, but he is the one who can break the chains that hold her; he is the one who can let her fly unrestrained; he is the one who can allow her to laugh, cry, hope and love freely and he is the one who can help her not loose her way in her religion.

She opened her heart to him, and laid it bare, without secrets in all its innocence. With all her hopes and dreams, she have given him her heart

Her doa’s are filled with pleas to Allah to unite them. Every word of the Holy Quran that she utters, she hopes not for hasanah but instead, she hopes for Allah to hear the pleas of her longing heart.

She places so much on him and have attached so much to him. So much so, that she begins to wonder…

Should she continue to love him…?

Or should she sever ties and leave…?

To close what she has opened and to reclaim what she has given.

With all these, she is afraid. Afraid that if she loves him with everything she has, she stands to loose everything should they not be together. But she does not know if she can love any other way.

She feels so much when she is with him. So much that she cannot say, so much that she is afraid to acknowledge them. So she hides behind a smile, she hides behind a laugh, she hides behind tears, and she hides behind her silence. Once acknowledged, they cannot be buried back. They stand to either free her or chain her.

She walks on a razor’s edge and what holds her up is him. So long as their future remains unclear, she holds back. Waiting for the worse to happen but hoping for the best with every fibre in her being; waiting for him to say the words that will either save her or break her fragile heart.

Hers is a love story of innocence, immense love, hopeful dreams, fear, doubts and religion. She does not know how her story ends, and she is afraid… afraid that she has loved too much, too soon. But her heart doesn’t listen to her head; her heart loves on its own.

Is she wrong to love him? Is she wrong to hope?

She asks silently for him to forgive her for her inability to express her feelings and to forgive her for placing so much on his shoulders, but this is how much he means to her; how she hold on to him like a life line. So complicated are her feelings… she wonders if he can understand her…